Friday, November 1, 2013

34 Reasons The Last 365 Days Were Pretty Great

When I started this post on 11/1/13, I had intentions of making a list of 34 reasons. Cause, ya know, that's clever.  I was turning 34. But after 6 months, I would like to retitle this post:

14 Reasons The Last 365 Days Were Pretty Great

  1. I actually started making a quilt.  Something I've been meaning to do for way too long.
  2. Discovered what this whole CrossFit craze is.  
  3. My brother and I got another pup.
  4. At Christmas, we thought it was a good idea to adopt a new dog, foster a puppy and foster a kitten for a few days.
  5. Ms. Rita Grindle and I spent 8 hours in a bar in NYC.  On purpose.
  6. I spent another week in Monteagle, TN transcribing love letters from the turn of the century.
  7. I took time to rest. Finally.
  8. For the first time in 27 years, all my dad's children were in one room.
  9. Turns out the pups don't like each other.  But I got to meet Cesar Milan.
  10. I met a boy.  A really cute boy.
  11. I did a real pull up. This is a big deal, people.
  12. I flew in a super small plane.
  13. I expanded my business.
  14. I officiated a wedding. 

Happy Birthday to me.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Fourth is Sexual Harassment

I was minding my own business in the Staples parking lot when I heard someone from across the lot say, "Hi. I like your smile."  For the record, I wasn't smiling.

When I looked up, there was little old man headed my way.

"I just lost 20 pounds. What do you think?"

I smiled and said, "Congratulations! How'd you do it?"

"Well, I'm on the seafood diet.  If I see food, I don't eat it."

Cute.

We proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation that consisted of him shamelessly hitting on me.  Which is easy to take when someone is 40 years your senior.

I'll spare you all the details, but two of my favorite moments were him asking me for my phone number, to which I declined.  Twice.  After his second attempt he said, "Well now that you're getting to know me a little better, you might give me your number before I leave.  My parole officer says it's okay to ask three times for something.  After that, it's sexual harassment.  So I've got one more shot."

After turning him down a third time and deciding to part ways, he reached in his shirt pocket and handed me a carnation. My heart melted a little and I took it but offered to give it back in case he wanted to give it to someone who would give him their phone number in return.

He smiled as he started to walk away and said, "Oh no, baby. I got a dozen of those in my car."

Solid.


Monday, July 15, 2013

Dirt Don't Hurt (Part III)

We had a seed bomb workshop today with a bunch of 6 to 9 year olds.

Always fun.

After we mixed all the ingredients with our hands, a little boy came up to me; staring at his hands. He didn't look up, he just said, "I got my hands dirty and I didn't know how much fun it would be.  I usually like to be really clean.  But look! (he looked up and extended his hands toward me, covered in mud) they're dirty, and it's fun!"

Friday, July 12, 2013

Dragon Handicap

While playing with a 3-year-old friend of mine, he showed me how his toy dragon's mouth pops off.























"It's not broken. You can fix it. But it doesn't matter, he can fly without his mouth."

Got it.

As we continued to play, I was a knight the dragon kept attacking.  When I told him the dragon couldn't hurt me because he didn't have a mouth to blow fire, my little friend looked me in the eyes, processed what I said and then motioned his dragon toward the knight and whispered a quick "pfff" sound.

"Oh, I see. Is that just small fire because he doesn't have a mouth?"

"Uh, huh."



Sunday, July 7, 2013

Hop To The Scotch

I love finding abandoned hopscotch games on the sidewalk. It's nearly impossible to not hop my way through them.

Today, I happened upon one of the longest games I've ever seen. Four hundred and five spaces. Impressive to say the least.


I highly recommend hopping next time you see one.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Thanks, Internet.

In an attempt to check something off my bucket list, I became a camp counselor at the age of 25. While I would HIGHLY recommend being a camp counselor, I encourage you to do it at 18 like everyone else. 

Working side-by-side with 18 year-olds: tough. 
Being silly with kids: easy. 

No matter what, I'm glad I did it and if nothing else, it fulfilled my desire to sing silly songs....Every. Single. Day. So much so, that I wrote a few of them down to ensure I'd remember them for my kids.

















Cut to now, at age 33. I am currently doing some spring cleaning and came across the piece of paper I have been saving with notes on those songs. The list even made it from Santa Monica to Culver City in my most recent move. And it's been sitting on my desk for months now as a reminder that I need to just sit down and type them out, save them and be done.

So today, I started to do just that. And as I started through the first line, I couldn't read my handwriting and thought, "Oh. I can just Google it. Duh." Then I realized I had sort of been saving my chicken-scratch notes for no reason. Everything seems to be one click away.


And then I got a little sad. The internet is truly amazing and it seems every answer is at my fingertips. Thanks, Internet.


But it takes away from some of the sweetness and challenge of remembering things on our own.


I've been challenging myself (and my reluctant friends) to put down their smartphone when someone asks, "What was that guy's name?" or "What does faineant mean?". Try to use your brain, I promise it works if you give it a chance.


Monday, April 29, 2013

Meant to be

Today, as I left the parking lot of Ralphs, I drove past a homeless woman holding a sign asking for change and thought for a moment that I might stop and give her what I had. I offered a smile instead and headed to the gas station where I quickly realized I didn't have my wallet. As I retraced my steps I realized it was still in my shopping cart in the parking lot at the grocery store.

I smiled again at the homeless woman as I pulled in the parking lot and immediately spotted my wallet. Seeing an opportunity to tell the world (ya know, the 43 people who follow me on Twitter), I decided to take a photo of the mishap.  Which turned into 5 minutes of getting the right angle and picking the right effect.























I hopped back in my car, smiled for a third time and then looked down at my passenger's seat. No wallet. Are you kidding me?

A U-turn and an additional smile later, I was back in the parking lot laughing at myself. Did I REALLY leave it again? Unbelievable.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I stopped to tell the homeless woman my story and that it clearly meant the five dollars I had in my wallet was meant to be hers.

I hope she bought something great.