Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Taking one for the team

As I was folding yet another load of laundry today, Josephine spotted a chocolate peanut butter cup that had been left behind from the night before. She brought it over to me and said, "Mom, what's this? I should eat it."

"Oh. No, Josephine, let's not eat that one, it's yucky."

Even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was going to let her have it. Mostly because I didn't have the energy to rationalize and convince her otherwise. But as she kept asking me and started to unwrap it, I was still trying to explain it was a "yucky one and she wouldn't like it."

She had moved on to sniffing it and assuring me she understood, but she should try it anyway.

I gave in quickly and said, "Okay, go ahead. You can have it."

She took her first bite with a little hesitancy and stared right at me. So serious...like it was a science experiment. Her face went from slightly concerned to immediate joy and she said, "Mom. I loooove this."

I smiled and nodded and told her I was glad she liked it. She finished it in few bites as she danced around mismatched socks and stacks of pajamas. As she licked her fingers and started to walk away, she suddenly stopped, turned around and put her hand on my shoulder. Her eyes were very serious and her tone mimicked an adult teaching a lesson.

"Mom, I can eat the yucky ones for you and Daddy. If you find yucky ones, just tell me. I'll eat them."

I laughed harder than I intended to and I could tell she liked seeing me laugh and giggled along with me, but then she got very serious again and said, "You just tell me, okay? You find yucky ones, I eat them."

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Stolen












These aren't my words, but I read them out-loud to my kids tonight and they left my mouth, enveloped my heart and warmed my stomach in a way they never had before.

The words invited me to give myself permission to be who I am in every millisecond of my crazy day. Without judgement. Without question.

Quick as Cricket
by Audrey Wood
illustrated by Don Wood

I'm as quick as a cricket,
I'm as slow as a snail,
I'm as small as an ant, 
I'm as large as a whale.

I'm as sad as a basset,
I'm as happy as a lark,
I'm as nice as a bunny, 
I'm as mean as a shark.

I'm as cold as a toad,
I'm as hot as a fox,
I'm as weak as a kitten,
I'm as strong as an ox.

I'm as loud as a lion, 
I'm as quite as a clam, 
I'm as tough as a rhino, 
I'm as gentle as a lamb.

I'm as brave as a tiger,
I'm as shy as a shrimp,
I'm as tame as a poodle,
I'm as wild as a chimp.

I'm as lazy as a lizard,
I'm as busy as a bee,
Put it all together,
And you've got ME!

Thursday, July 28, 2022

Apologies

Zoë and Josephine were building a fort around our dining room table and climbing in and out from underneath. I was out of sight, washing dishes or some other fun task.

I heard a pretty loud "bonk" and Josephine immediately said, "Sorree."

Zoë responded, "That's okay, you didn't make me hit the table. I did it myself."  There was a brief pause and then she said, "I mean, I should probably say sorry to myself...

Sorry self. I didn't mean to hurt you."

There was so much sincerity in her voice and it was such a simple apology. It made my heart burn and I realized I need to say those very words to myself much more often.

So long, farewell, good-bye

After a long afternoon of swimming at a friend's house, we had said our farewells and the girls had given multiple hugs and fist bumps.

As we pulled away, our host gave us one final wave and we all returned the gesture. I'm not sure what it is about one final wave after a lengthy goodbye, but it's kind of the best. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Proceed with caution

There was a weird power outage today and a handful of traffic lights were out in downtown Santa Cruz. It made for a long trip across town, but in and amongst a little frustration, I realized we were all working together as a team.

And I liked it.

We all had to make eye contact with the person across the intersection and then check in with our lane partner to sort of proceed as a team. No one honked or raised their fist in the air. We all just calmly, collectively made it work.

I realize its common knowledge that we, as a society, connect less and less. And even though thats a bit depressing, it does make all the little connections that much sweeter.

Friday, June 17, 2022

Oh, teenagers

The girls and I were killing time in between ballet and swim class and decided to do some window shopping downtown. I was letting them get a few feet ahead of me so they could pretend to be on their own. At some point, a teenager sauntered in between us with his hands in pockets, head down, hoodie up. He was definitely too cool for us and the girls swerved in and out around his legs as he passed by us.

Just as he was passing Josephine, she took off running toward the edge of the sidewalk, close to the road. Our teenager didn't miss a beat. He took one side step and pivoted around at the same time. He reached one arm out to stop my tiny one just as she took a 90 degree turn back toward us. 

He never changed his cool expression and just turned around and kept walking.

As we passed, I said thank you and he just raised his hand and nodded his head.

I love when people remind me to never judge a book by it's cover

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Truth

We went to a ZZ Top concert tonight. I can’t say that I’m a huge fan, but live-music-no-kids…yes, please.

Waiting in line to go through the metal detector, I overheard the security officer say, “Man, last night it was knives and flasks setting these off. Tonight, it’s just fake body parts.”

She said it so matter of factly and was a little confused when everyone giggled. She tried to back pedal a little and apologize but then she just said, “I mean, the truth is the truth.”