Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Fourth is Sexual Harassment

I was minding my own business in the Staples parking lot when I heard someone from across the lot say, "Hi. I like your smile."  For the record, I wasn't smiling.

When I looked up, there was little old man headed my way.

"I just lost 20 pounds. What do you think?"

I smiled and said, "Congratulations! How'd you do it?"

"Well, I'm on the seafood diet.  If I see food, I don't eat it."


We proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation that consisted of him shamelessly hitting on me.  Which is easy to take when someone is 40 years your senior.

I'll spare you all the details, but two of my favorite moments were him asking me for my phone number, to which I declined.  Twice.  After his second attempt he said, "Well now that you're getting to know me a little better, you might give me your number before I leave.  My parole officer says it's okay to ask three times for something.  After that, it's sexual harassment.  So I've got one more shot."

After turning him down a third time and deciding to part ways, he reached in his shirt pocket and handed me a carnation. My heart melted a little and I took it but offered to give it back in case he wanted to give it to someone who would give him their phone number in return.

He smiled as he started to walk away and said, "Oh no, baby. I got a dozen of those in my car."


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