I was in line at Michael's tonight and was slightly annoyed with the lady in front of me. She seemed to be taking eons to finalize her purchase and I stood behind her browsing on my iPhone and feeling a little huffy and puffy.
She finally moved on, I made my purchase and then walked outside with my face still buried in my iPhone.
"Um, escuse me..."
I looked up to see said woman.
"I'm going to tell you somethin', but don't take it da wrong way."
My heart sank a little because I thought she might tell me about youth these days and our short attention spans and our obsession with our phones. I took a deep breath and smiled, "Ok."
"You look exactly like the model who won on Tyra's show last night. But don't get a big head."
I was so relieved she wasn't going to scold me about my phone that I didn't notice she was standing practically nose-to-nose with me. She started motioning her hands tracing the curves of my body and said, "You know. You are like a real women. You have dis (pointing at my hips) and dis." She stopped and sort of hovered over my boobs. "You know...you are....you are...how do they say...voluptuous."
Ok lady. I get it. Thanks, I think. Then she sort of cocked her head and said, "But choo know...you have a tiny head. The rest of your body is all the right size and like a real woman. But you need to get your hair big. If you just make it long and get it to be curly...your head will not be so tiny and you will be beautiful."
Hair appointment scheduled.
Please make my hair big, thanks.